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The Daily Ardmoreite
A hodgepodge of humor, truth, witticisms and rants
Cheaters
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About this blog
By Phillip Capshaw

Phillip Capshaw provides his own unique perspective on everything from local to world events and, as the blog title suggests, believes that nothing is funnier than observing the comical nature of our fellow man and especially Southern Oklahomans. ...

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Truth is Stranger than Fiction

Phillip Capshaw provides his own unique perspective on everything from local to world events and, as the blog title suggests, believes that nothing is funnier than observing the comical nature of our fellow man and especially Southern Oklahomans. Phillip is a native of Ardmore, Oklahoma, with varied interests who likes to poke fun at almost any group and occupation, but feels as if there is much to make fun of in passing the mirror everyday.

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By Phillip Capshaw
July 26, 2013 12:01 a.m.

A new study has just been released that shows the brand of car preferred by people that cheat on their spouses is the Audi. The readers of this blog have come to expect nothing but the best in serious investigative journalism and we are not going to let them down. This has necessitated that my research assistants, Bubba and Billy Bob (hereafter referred to as B & B) put in a lot of overtime this past week. The results are very interesting, indeed! First of all, before you start doing a search on this, if you are married, you might rethink that one. That is why I decided to just let B & B do it. It just seemed it may be a lot easier to pay them overtime (which consists of a few cases of beer) than to try to explain to my lovely wife the reason that I had all these searches on the browser for websites which cater to cheating spouses.
 
One survey of people that are unfaithful found among cheating mothers, that one in five said they found themselves in a “sticky” situation while trying to balance motherhood with an affair. One website also revealed they typically see a spike in female signups the day after Mother’s day. I’m calling this, “The kid’s made me do it syndrome.”  It just isn’t fair the stresses moms have to face in this day and time.
One survey said that Banana Republic is the most sought-after brand of clothing, Morton’s The Steakhouse is the place they preffered to eat and Washington D.C is the preferred place to cheat. That last one is a big surprise to everyone, I'm sure.
 
One of the latest surveys of people that are going to cheat prefer Audi, followed by BMW, Mercedes, Volvo and VW. Other websites had completely different results. On one Toyota was listed as number one followed by Ford. BMW was number five and Audi didn’t even make the top ten. Common sense would tell us the median income of the people that  frequent the website would make a great deal of difference as well as the region. B & B decided to do their own survey at their favorite watering hole. Here are the results. 
 
The men preffered Chevrolet pickups followed closely by Ford and Dodge trucks. On a side note, the participants wondered how anyone that was going to cheat could drive anything but a truck because to meet their sweeties out in the pasture, if it was raining you would get stuck driving anything else. Most of B & B's friends preferred to get their clothes at Walmart and the eating establishments favored were McDonald's, followed closely by Burger King. The best place to cheat as I alluded to earlier is not any city, but the most wooded pasture.
 
The friends of B & B came up with some subtle hints that you might watch for if you suspect your loved one of infidelity.
 
1. A phone call in the middle of the night and your loved one takes the phone into the bathroom and comes back in a few minutes and says its a wrong number.
 
2. Going golfing, bowling, fishing or hunting more than ordinary and forgetting to take their equipment with them.
 
3. Putting in a lot of overtime, but Accounting somehow doesn't pay you for it.
 
4. Last but not least: If your loved one calls you by someone else's name especially during an intimate moment.
 
 
 

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