Respect is all any teenager really wants. As teens work on gaining independence, they want opportunities to assert their own identities and make their own decisions. They’re craving respect for their ideas, opinions and beliefs. You don’t have to agree all the time to show respect, but try to listen and treat them fairly.
Research shows that parents who respect their teen’s individuality help prevent risk-taking and protect their kids against depression and other problems. When parents try to control their teen’s beliefs or stifle their opinions, it can undermine confidence and lead to other emotional problems. If you don’t respect your teen, she or he is not likely to respect her or himself either. A kid without self-respect is a kid vulnerable to risk-taking and the need to “fit in.”
How to build respect in your relationship with your teen:
• Stay involved, but give your teen the privacy and space to be an individual.
• Encourage your teen to develop and express his or her own opinions and ideas.
• Don’t be dismissive of your teen’s beliefs if you don’t agree with them. Instead, learn to engage your teen in a healthy debate.
• Make time to listen and be responsive to you teen’s fears and concerns.
• When you have to criticize or discipline your teen, focus on the behavior, not on your teen. Don’t call your teen names or use hurtful language.
• Don’t belittle your teen’s way of dressing or appearance, or their taste in music or entertainment.
• Appreciate and acknowledge your teen’s unique interests, skills, and strengths.
If your teen seems worried about fitting in, use the opportunity to appeal to the value your teen places on independence. Acknowledge the pressures he or she faces and emphasize the importance of individuality and independent thinking.
To ask questions or to find out how you can be involved with prevention efforts in your community, contact the Area Prevention Resource Center at (580) 490-9197.
Taken from Navigating the Teen Years: A Parent’s Handbook for Raising Healthy Teens www.TheAntiDrug.com
