Editorial: Bush would keep America addicted to oil

What, if anything, should I deduce from this, regarding your patriotism?

It was about halfway through the preacher’s sermon when a bubbly soundtrack began chirping from someone’s purse in the last row.

Did you ever think citizens of the entire country would become Wall Street analysts?

Did you think we would wake up each morning asking the following questions: What do I want for breakfast? Where are my shoes? What is the price of a barrel of oil going to be today?

I have good news today for the edgy people out there, the embittered, the dark, the endarkened, the snarky, the snippy, the snooty, the ensnarkened, the tragically comic, the comically tragic and everyone that I am related to or friends with.

The other day I actually used the phrase, “Do you kids think I’m made of money?” And I did it without even a hint of irony — I was genuinely wondering what could have given my children, ages 6 and 9, the idea that I had the expendable income to afford, say, a hot tub, or a wall-mounted HDTV, or gas.

Al Gore has announced his endorsement of Barack Obama for president. And in other news, the sky is blue.

To hear some people, talking on a cell phone while driving is as easy as walking and chewing gum.

What ever happened to the wave?  I’m not talking about the waves of the ocean or that thing you do during a sporting event. I'm talking about the side-to-side movement of the hand in a gesture of greeting.

Sen. John McCain wins friends with his self-deprecating sense of humor, but self-deprecation poses risks as well. Early in the campaign, McCain noted that he doesn't know much about economics, a bit of modesty the Democrats seem intent to brand on his forehead.

In light of some airlines’ recent decisions to charge for all of passengers’ checked bags, don’t be surprised if you see some of these announcements in the future: