Editorial: Bush would keep America addicted to oil

What, if anything, should I deduce from this, regarding your patriotism?

It was about halfway through the preacher’s sermon when a bubbly soundtrack began chirping from someone’s purse in the last row.

Did you ever think citizens of the entire country would become Wall Street analysts?

Did you think we would wake up each morning asking the following questions: What do I want for breakfast? Where are my shoes? What is the price of a barrel of oil going to be today?

I have good news today for the edgy people out there, the embittered, the dark, the endarkened, the snarky, the snippy, the snooty, the ensnarkened, the tragically comic, the comically tragic and everyone that I am related to or friends with.

The other day I actually used the phrase, “Do you kids think I’m made of money?” And I did it without even a hint of irony — I was genuinely wondering what could have given my children, ages 6 and 9, the idea that I had the expendable income to afford, say, a hot tub, or a wall-mounted HDTV, or gas.

Al Gore has announced his endorsement of Barack Obama for president. And in other news, the sky is blue.

To hear some people, talking on a cell phone while driving is as easy as walking and chewing gum.

One of the defining characteristics of Americans has always been their willingness to pack up and move in search of better places and better times. The recession has radically changed that.

Last year, 11.9 percent of the population, 35.2 million people, moved, down from 13.2 percent, or 38.7 million, the year before. That was the sharpest drop in mobility since the dot-com bust of 2000 and the lowest percentage in 60 years, since the Census bureau began measuring it in 1948.

President Barack Obama’s daughters Sasha and Malia finally got their long-promised pet this past week, a Portuguese water dog they’re naming Bo.

Time will tell how this friendly and photogenic puppy lines up in the pantheon of presidential pooches. He’ll stand alongside George W. Bush’s Barney, who liked reporters even less than his owner, biting one last year; Bill Clinton’s Buddy, practically the only creature on Earth to remain faithful to Bill during the prez’s self-inflicted marital woes; George H.W. Bush’s mild-mannered and “literary” Millie and C. Fred; and countless other canines-in-chief.

Don’t ignore it. Don’t panic. Do pay attention. Do use common sense.

That advice could apply to many situations, but right now, Americans should heed it in connection with the health threat that has emerged in the past few days.